A Letter To My Daughter
Just yesterday we dropped Mariah off at school. We dropped her off at the usual time. It quickly became 2:47pm (her dismissal time) and we didn’t go get her. She wasn’t at school, she went to camp for 3 days through school. It was planned. We’ve known about it for a couple weeks. However, I thought I would handle it much better then I am. I am truly at a loss. I miss her like crazy. While I never want to be that parent that never lets their child away and to learn and grow, I also never want to be that parent that isn’t there to make everything all better.
While Mariah and I have our differences, she is not only a teen but a mini me, I cannot imagine my life without her. She’s a rock and a staple in my life. I wish I could let her know just how much she means to me. While I do express it to her all the time, I am to sure she understands fully what she is and what she means to me. My heart is broken, I feel physically sick, I cry over everything and I can’t stop watching the clock. It cannot come soon enough! I write this all here and I say this all here because if there is one thing I have learned in life, it’s to not hold back when you need to express your feelings. I think there are so many teens today that don’t feel the love they should. Growing up my childhood wasn’t perfect. My mom and I fought, A LOT. I babysat my brothers every night while my parents worked. They did what they needed to provide and put a roof over our head. Today, my mom and I see things in a much different light. I respect her for the discipline, tough love and guidance that she and my dad gave me growing up. At the time I thought they were evil, now with 2 children of my own, I get it. I completely whole-heartly get it. Not one moment of it is foggy. It makes me sad to think of all the years I spent rebelling against my parents. It makes me sad that I felt they were trying to “hurt” me by making me babysit or making me miss out on a party. The truth is, they were protecting me. Had it not been for that protection, I could be in a whole different path in life. We do have a nightly routine in our house with our good night kisses and “I Love You!”. I pray and pray that it never ends. I never want them to grow away from us. I never want them to feel like a good night kiss is a bad things. I pray they will always see the positive in showing your love and emotions.
Since Mariah is away at camp and my heart feels anything but whole (yes it does, no I am not dramatic), I decided to write her a letter, a letter that I will print and leave on her bed for her to see and read when she gets home. So.. here’s my letter to my daughter:
So many times the things that we should say we don’t. So many times the things that we do don’t seem like enough. So many times I wanted to take away every bad thing and replace it with every good thing. I never want you to doubt that. Since the very day you were born, my heart has been filled with nothing but love, joy and happiness. You’ve been an amazing daughter. I could have never dreamt you would be as caring, loving and compassionate as you are. I could never EVER have dreamt I would watch you on the path you would go with nothing less then sheer joy. You are so amazing at everything you do. You give your all to everything you do. You light up my life. Each year as you get older, you take on more and more. I watch you balance a healthy life with us, your family, as well as your friends, your school work, your band (which you are SO amazing at – Nothing can describe that feeling I get watching you play the drums like it was as simple as chewing gum), your sports, your art, your creativity. You are passionate about so many things and it always shows. You never want to give anything other then your all. I pray everyday that you will look in the mirror and see what everyone else sees.. a confident beautiful girl that can take on the world. You help me, without even thinking twice. While I know I should say thank you more, you give me a reason to fight. You give me a reason to face each day better then I did the last. I cherish our “movie nights” so much. I hope someday when you have children, you will do the same and understand this feeling. Having you away is so very hard. I miss you. I miss your silly self, I miss your laugh and your smile. This experience has taught me that I can’t live without you. I know that in 24 hours you will return home to us, but this has been the longest 3 days I could have ever imagined. There are so many hurdles in life and we just have to fight through them. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for calling and saying good night. Thank you for the good morning text messages. Thank you for teaching me the deep meaning of unconditional love. Please know that no matter what you chose to do in life, I will always be by your side. You are amazing and I cannot wait to see where life takes you. Please also know that you ARE deeply loved. I know we talk about it, but it’s real. VERY real. You are such an inspiration. May God bless you and all of your paths through life, the same way that your mom will.
I love you always & forever!
I don’t think that we always find enough time to talk to kids about pressing issues these days, let alone the simple things. Our world has changed so much. We always seem to be on a fast track and no matter what happens, that’s how it works. It’s difficult. There has to be a balance. There has to be an understanding. As a parent we NEVER want
to hear the negative. We never want to experience the negative. But the fact is real that it is there. As parents we need to let our children know they can come to us, they can talk to us, they can feel safe doing so. We also need to be sure to express the good to them and not the bad. Is a bad spelling test really the end of the world? It’s not to say that we shouldn’t set up goals and standards, but sometimes the little things don’t matter as much as we think that do in that moment. Step back, look at the full picture. No matter what happens I need my daughter (and my son) to know that I love them unconditionally. The true meaning of unconditionally. Express your feelings, encourage them to express their feelings. Talk about topics, set aside time for you to do special things with each child, walk with your child! Express your love and let your children know what they mean to you.